I’m sorry that I have been acting like a huge pain. It’s just that you keep asking me questions that I don’t have the answers to. It is not that I don’t bother to answer you or that I am hiding anything. I just don’t have the answer. However much I carry on thinking, I don’t have the answer. I cannot just conjure up and answer for you, just to make the both of us happy. I know you care. I know you try very hard to be patient with me. But maybe, I’m not worth your time. I’m sorry I cannot give you the answers you want. Both of us have changed. I know I have.
I am so tempted to say that I want to give up, or that deep inside I hurt like crap. But don’t ask me why I hurt like crap, I don’t know the answer. Sometimes it is so hard to pretend that I’m fine so that you would not worry so much. Sometimes its so hard just to do anything.
When you say hey on msn, I really wonder whether this conversation is going to be a tense one, or a conversation that would lead to smiles. But I guess, these few times, the conversations end on bad notes. You either become extremely pissed with me, or I get so pissed I go offline or appear offline. Honestly, I have been appearing offline lots and lots of times. Because I am afraid that talking to you would ruin our friendship. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but its true.
When I told you about my piercing, you didn’t seem happy. You were never happy when I talked about piercings and tattoos. Maybe its just that the both of us have different views about it. But do you know, you were the first friend I told about my piercing. Sadly, only to find out that you were maybe a little pissed. Honestly, it hurt like crap. I knew you didn’t like it. But I had a hope that maybe on account of our friendship you would like maybe try to be nice about it.
I am so tempted to say that I want to give up, or that deep inside I hurt like crap. But don’t ask me why I hurt like crap, I don’t know the answer. Sometimes it is so hard to pretend that I’m fine so that you would not worry so much. Sometimes its so hard just to do anything.
When you say hey on msn, I really wonder whether this conversation is going to be a tense one, or a conversation that would lead to smiles. But I guess, these few times, the conversations end on bad notes. You either become extremely pissed with me, or I get so pissed I go offline or appear offline. Honestly, I have been appearing offline lots and lots of times. Because I am afraid that talking to you would ruin our friendship. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but its true.
When I told you about my piercing, you didn’t seem happy. You were never happy when I talked about piercings and tattoos. Maybe its just that the both of us have different views about it. But do you know, you were the first friend I told about my piercing. Sadly, only to find out that you were maybe a little pissed. Honestly, it hurt like crap. I knew you didn’t like it. But I had a hope that maybe on account of our friendship you would like maybe try to be nice about it.
But for everything that has happened, I’m sorry Luke.
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