waa lao
today my class got ransacked
when we were haing PE
a few things were stolen
sheesh
my bag got ransacked
but nothing was taken
cause im as poor as a church mouse
anyway
curse that person
who took the things
blehh
how freaking unsafe can my school get

tmrw is teacher's day!
that means
old friends
and even older teachers!
haha
the long awaited day!
hahahaha

anyway
cheers
to the week called hols
but isnt hols!
hahaha
more sleeping time!
HURRAY!

im soo down
firstly sapphire jie is leaving tmrw
haii when she hugged me yesterday
and told me that she wont be seeing me
till she comes back to singapore
i almost cried
i guess i will miss her
cause these months she was around
its like i know she is there
haii
but now she has to go back to study
wells hope she does well in school
cant wait for her to come back for her hols

secondly
today i had an asthma attack
in church
gosh i feel so paiseh
thanks for asking how i was people
im fine now
it was just suddenly attack
its normal
haha

oh joy oh joy
both my cousins sapphire and krystl
are here to sleepover at my house!
haha
sheesh they are gonna disturb me all night
haha
and guess what
i sms-ed luke
asking him to come online
at exactly 23.46
he didnt reply me
im heartbroken
blehh
LUKE = BUBBY BOY!
hahahaha
i just had to do this
i dont care

had fun at the pasar malam at my house
haha
played dart and the fishing game
won some toys
and exchanged them for a bow and arrow toy
to give to my friend's sister
hahaha
im such a nice person
iif onee daee ii typee liike thish,
ii wuchh takee sooo looong
to typiish thiish thiing outt
ii evenn has too ediit worrxx
hahahahaha
stupid-ah-lian-of-a-typing
hahahaha
im real bored
since luke does not want to talk to me
blehhh

im so tired
im tired of trying to fit in
trying to be someone
i can never be
why so?
cause im freaking lonely
yup im lonely

i just wish i could curl up in a ball
and sleep for as long as i like
and then wake up to find everything
just alright
but that is never gonna happen
cause we cant turn back time

am i really that hateful?
that people would play with my feelings
and make me hurt in the end?
im not talking about BGR
but in everyday things
dont they know the pain

or maybe i just am hateful
and irritating
but that is the way God made me to be
there is nothing i can do about it
you think i asked to be like this??!!

i dont know
i just wish all these
would just disappear
just go away

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.- Psalm 42:8

RAWR
i have bruises all over
and im so pissed with my family

now i understand how girls felt in the olden days
when boys were always superior
which is so bullshit
today while having karate training
the kancho only kept looking at this jap guy
wa lao
i can so do the kata better than him
but still he didnt take notice of me
stupid
i feel like an idiot

then at home
when practicing
dwight is always trying to correct me
when he is wrong in the first place
then no one wants to listen to me
so i went to practice on my own
blehh
then i will get it right

oh ya
and my brother can have a girlfriend
as long as he is not gay
and doesnt burst his phone bill
what crap is that man
i cant even keep talking about a guy
without my mum being suspicious
wa lao
i cannot take it
its so unfair

ALL YOU SEXIST IN THIS WORLD
PISS OFF MAN

okay people
IMPORTANT NEWS!
i can confirm that i have shrunk by 2cm
cause its written in my health report
- Clare has shrunk by 2cm. Please ensure that she has proper meals.
HAHAHAHA
what the hell
i shrunk by 2cm
i didnt lose weight
so what has that gotta do with eating proper meals??!!
hahaha
i dont know mann

when people ask me how is school
i always say
how bad can it get?
i hate school
and i can say it straight in anyone's face
know why i hate school
cause the people there dont realise your feelings
they hurt you
and then they say your being sensitive
teachers always say
that they understand you
but they dont
they say they do
but they are asking you
things like why cant you do this
and you reason with them
and they never understand you
soo piss off people

Stress is poison. ~Agavé Powers

today i was on my way home
when i passed this little boy
he kept staring at my ring
then he asked me
"are you married?"
haha
i freaked out
so i said "no"
but i asked him if he wanted the ring
he said
"no need, my mummy also has one"
hahahaha
soooo cute can!!

anyway
i was reading my book
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE CHRISTIAN SOUL
then i soo felt that i could walk through a wall
so i went for it
and WHAM i went into the wall
now i have a bruise
and luke is asking me to rub it
hahaha
NO WAY
i rather let i grow
haha

oh i had a wonderful time at the chalet
i swam
played badminton
and even bowled!
haha
ohh and i even made luke jealous
haha

i had my all-time-high
score for bowling
125!
haha
im soo proud
i even took a photo

gtg now byebye!

recently i keep dreaming about my grandfather
- one of the greatest person in my life
his life story is amazing
he was actually those gangsters
not ordinary gangsters
but one of the chiefs
anyway
he was a staunch buddhist
and hated christians
but then my uncle
wanted to become a pastor
so he begged my grandfather
when my grandfather
finally said yes
my uncle tried to convert him
finally he managed to
so my grandfather became a christian
and died as one
so i should be happy that he is with God

but i really regret not spending enough time with him
i always dreaded going to his house
to eat everyday
and always complaining that he cooked the same food
i really regret
after he has gone
i have come to realise how much i miss him
his aniversary is coming 2 years
and i still cant get over him
i really miss him
cause i never got the chance to tell him
how much i love him
maybe i should have learnt to speak
his dialect
then i could understand him
but its too late

maybe one day soon
im going to see his niche
he shares one with my grandmother
cool right
sooo romantic
haha
really cant wait for the day i see him again
maybe he can cook my favourite
hokkien mee for me again!

i love this song :

His love is warmer than the warmest sunshine,
Softer than a sigh,
His love is deeper than the deepest ocean,
Wider than the sky,
His love is brighter than the brightest star
that shines at night above
And there is nothing in this world that can ever change his love.

im happy!
cause today is sunday!
like finally man
sunday is here
benn waititng sooo long
but now its over
sheesh
another long week
blehh

anyway marion im sorry
i did something i shouldnt
sorry sorry sorry
haha
i owe you kay?

think im sick now
tonsils are inflamed again
wells maybe i get to miss school!
woohoo
but then again
i also need to study
blehh

you know i keep wanting to talk to someone
but i just dont know why i like dont want to
im soo half-hearted
haha
wells
everytime i see that person i feel happy
cause its good to know people care
thanks to that person!

Exodus 15:2
2 The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
my father's God, and I will exalt him.

dont i have any talents?
i cant study
i cant draw
i cant sing
i cant even keep my emotions in check
maybe what HE said was right
i have no freaking talent
im not like him
he is sooo talented
whatever

no talent
so what

i have really considered the idea
of going abroad to study
maybe canada
or australia
it would be hard for me to leave my family
and whatever friends i have
but i really hope that my life would
be for the better

and that i wont hear people
put me down again
i maybe short and
i may have no talent
but i wont stand you saying that things to me
so piss off IDIOT