Feel The Freedom

I’m scared about what is going to happen after I graduate from secondary school. I’m scared that my results are not up to standard and that things won’t go the way I planned them to. I’m scared that maybe everything that I have now and hold dear will just disappear into thin air. I’m scared about things that I don’t know of. I’m scared about staying alone at home now.

It has not been an easy month for me. Things I never thought would happen just happened and made my world come crashing down. It never occurred to me that life is just that unpredictable. I never thought it would happen. I don’t want it to happen. But there is nothing I can do to turn back time and erase what has happened. Nor can I face my feelings. When people ask “Are you alright?” I just give a smile and say yes. Its so easy to deny feeling but just so hard to face them and the pain that follows along. I cannot accept the fact that you are no longer around. It hurts.

Exams are coming to an end. Came so fast, over so fast. What happens after, only God knows. I don’t want to know what happens after. I’m afraid of what is going to happen after. Aren’t you?