ALWAYS

This picture says everything :)
Happy 9th L&C day <3

YOU GUYS ARE THE BOMB.

I chose the photo above cause there are 3 socks.

One for Marion, Charis and me!

You guys have been the major part of my life.

Even though ONE of us is far away,

It doesn't change the friendship we have.

Many years ago,

We had this really childish quarrel.

I don't even remember what it was now.

But I know that it has brought us closer.

Anyway thanks for everything.

Marion:

18 years and counting.

Has been amazing.

But please come home quick.

We need to talk,

Eat cheesecake,

Eat sakae,

Talk somemore,

Take tons of photos

And do so many things more :)

Just come back.

Charis:

Only about a day more.

One important part of your life.

Remember we're always there.

Do your best.

You always top everything you do :)

It's gonna be fine.

Worry less, pray more.

God's always there for you too.

We will partaee soon!

Look forward to it.

All the best smartass <3

Halloween in Singapore is ridonkculous. I'm serious! Asians have no idea what halloween is all about. All they do is make costumes shorter, tighter and wear lesser. It's like skank party. SAD. Then people spend halloween meeting up with mates, drinking and getting themselves dead drunk. Only to have their not-so-drunk friends drag them home by their underwear. How classy. What is the point of going clubbing when people just get dead drunk? Clubbing is fine, but people need to know how to club smart. Anyway halloween just gives people the privillage of sauntering through places wearing their towels, underwear and better off .. men in skin-tight tutus. Priceless. Do you know how scary it is to be walking around and suddenly you see a man wearing a tutu?! It freaked the hell out of me. Like hello, God made you a man. Please don't disappoint Him. There are kids around! What would they grow up thinking? Poor kids, scary childhood.

In conclusion, halloween in Singapore is kinda wasted. It seems like all people do is go drinking and then scream in random people's faces. And no I do not enjoy having people scream in my face and their saliva flying all over me. Save the spittle for someone else who would enjoy it more. Don't waste it on me. And yes to those strangers who asked if I was old enough, I AM 18 PEOPLE. Don't rain on my parade. I'm young but I have a mind of my own. I don't mind dressing up, meeting with friends, sit down and have a good drink. But please don't bring me to clarke quay clubbing anymore. It scared the crap out of me. Not worth the emotional trauma.

I am thankful for everything I have experienced
In this life of mine
For in all I have found
That in His Word-the answers I find

I am thankful for all the tears I have cried
For they have taught me to appreciate laughter
They have given me the ability to see the
The joy that comes after

Through my tears I have come to know
His Holy Spirit in my life
How He is always there
And comforts through the strife

I am thankful for the storms I have encountered
Knowing that the rainbow is at the end
Realization that they are only temporal
That with time all will mend

I have learned that I don’t need to be strong
For Yahshua supplies the strength for me
He shoulders my burdens
Regardless of what the circumstance may be

I am thankful for all the relationships
For the good and yes, for the bad
For they have given life to my emotions
An appreciation of what I have had

My most valuable relationship
Is that with Yahweh, my Father
I know that I can trust Him
As I can trust no other

I am thankful for the pain I have known
It has given a compassion for the suffering
An ability to reach out to others
An appreciation of little things

I understand the greatness of Yahshuas love
And the pain He has suffered for me
How He endured all things
So that I could be set free

I am thankful for the hunger and thirst
That I have had to go through
I appreciate having food before me
And sharing it with others too

He has given himself as my food and drink
To make sure that I was fed
His Blood shed for my drink
And His Body broken for my bread

Most of all, I am thankful for His Grace
For the provisions that it brings
How it has provided for
Me in all things

Kathleen Shelton Poulson

Dear army boy(s),

I understand that it is extremely interesting
& fabby to be in the army.
All the obstacle courses,
field camps,
funny encounters in the nurse's office,
and many others.
But sometimes,
I just hope you guy would
just shaddup about it.
Talking about it once in a while is
FINE.
But,
talking about it constantly,
repeating it over and over again
every time you meet your other friends
is just simply annoying.
Even though no one says anything,
deep down inside,
we just wanna give you a huge-ass punch,
and tell you to change the topic.
It was funny to hear all the stories
you guys had to share.
But I just hope
that maybe,
you would think of the people around you.
Your friends,
girlfriends,
and maybe parents
who have been tolerating you all these while.
There are so many other topics to talk about
that everyone can participate in.
So please,
please,
please.
Think about the people around you.
Army stories are great,
but not too much.
It just makes us feel
unwelcomed,
unwanted
and sometimes plain lousy.
So do us that favor ya?

Lovelove,
Clare (:

It's the 5th L&C day
I still do love you

i hope so too

maybe, baby

I can't seem to be doing anything right these days :( screwed up projects, not watching my language, being late for school, doing everything else except the things I need to do and worse of all, not being understanding to other people's feelings :( honestly, I don't really mean to. But that is the worse excuse of all, because you do to others what you want other to do unto you.

I'm really sorry. I keep repeating and promising to stop talking about you :( but I just can't seem to keep that promise. Deep down I know that it hurts you when I talk about it, but do I shut up ... NO :( you're really important to me, and yet I can't seem to realise you're pissed with me. I feel like such a loser. I know whatever I say would not make anything right. Cause I was being an idiot and hurting you time and time again.

It's gonna be my 18th birthday, big day. However, it seems like it's gonna be one of the suckiest birthday ever. Cause I constant keep hurting the people around me, the people I love. F :(

3 MONTHS
& counting

Remember the promise we made? That we'll work everything thing out together. These few months, have been really hectic for us. Especially with school and everything else. Honestly, there were so many times that I doubted myself, you and us. But it's the little obstacles we face, the various questions that go through our minds, the many mistakes we make, the time we spend together and the conversations we had that just make me come to realise that I love you more and more each day. It's the little things that have happened that have made me realise how important you are to me. Thinking about it, I do feel confident to say that I'll love you ... forever. It seems like a very short time to be able to determine that, but everyday I daydream about us, forever. Pretty corny, but true :)

You & Me - Lifehouse

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people

With nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say

Just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on words

You've got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people

With nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now

I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people

With nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all other people

With nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why,

I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

This is really difficult. I didn't know a relationship could be so energy-draining, mind-draining and just so complicated. It seems like other people have it so easy. I thought I would too. I mean, getting together with your childhood friend, best friend, confidante just seems so easy, so safe. Little did I know, it's so mighty difficult and helluva tiring. I'm not saying I wanna give this relationship up, I really want this relationship to last - it's not even 2 months, that's like a really short time already. I'm just looking for the cracks in it. Every relationship has it's cracks. Is it because I'm too whiny? I know I complain a hell lot. I could try cutting down, but shucks ... sometimes I just like to whine. Is it because I swear too much? Honestly, I've cut down on swearing A LOT. It used to be part of my main language. Or is it simply because of the different kind of up-bringings. I am the result of my parent's up-bringing. Judging from my personality, it's definitely not the A-grade standard. But, I'm happy the way I am. I may not read the bible unless it's Saturday or Sunday, and I may not pray unless I remember, but my parents have brought me up in a good christian environment. All the major and minor flaws in me, are the result of the choices I have made in my life. I don't know why am I explaining the reason of my current personality, or lack thereof. Seems really stupid at this point of time. I'm just gonna be straightout honest here, cause it seems easier than talking it out. I don't think I'm the kind of girl for you. Looking at you, the girl for you is probably quiet, sensitive, doesn't swear unless it's the occasional " oh shit ", presentable looking which means no piercings, no coloured and doesn't even look at a tattoo shop. I'm loud, not really sensitive, I swear a lot, I have a nose-stud which I'm not thinking of getting rid off anytime soon, I've had orange hair and I would rush into a tattoo shop and get one done on the spot. It's none of my business telling you who would be perfect for you. I'm really lucky that a guy like you would even look at me, talk to me and even fall for me. I mean, I seriously thought I would get an Ah Beng for a boyfriend and then get married to one. Boys like you seemed so " godly " to me that I didn't even dare to venture near anyone like that. This is seriously damn screwed up. I don't even know what I'm typing, it's just everything that comes to mind. When you told me today that you might breakup with me, I was already crying. It seems so easy to confidently say that I'll breakup with you if your parents or God objects to this relationship. But when I talked to you today, my heart actually hurt so badly. I actually felt angry with God, with myself and with you. It just felt so stupid, so ridiculous. I didn't know what to say. I really do love you, it's been the same all these years. But it's just so difficult to please everyone, to wait for everyone to nod their head and give the go ahead. I was pretty pissed with you for delaying the talk with your mum. I mean just talk to her, you don't have to answer her on the spot. I know she's different from my mum, but I'm sure all mum's want to see their children happy, happily attached to the person of their choice. I'm sorry for constantly bugging you to talk to her, I know you have your difficulties, I'm sorry for getting pissed at you for delaying the talk. I was being impatient and not understanding where you were coming from. This relationship has been one of the most awesome things that has happened to me this year. I'm not just gonna watch it crumble. Even though I really honestly feel like giving up cause I'm sick and tired of having to be accountable to so many people, I'm gonna try to be strong. Try to be strong for myself and for us. It's not something I wanna let go so easily. So ending off this post, I'm gonna fight for this relationship. It's cause fighting is what I do best, it's in my blood. After you read this mess of a post, we need to talk. I never imagined myself saying that but yes, we do need to talk. Lastly, I do STILL love you even though sometimes you can be a real a**hole.

I remember how you were so into punk rock, while I was into goth. We were like heaven and earth, the moon and the stars, yin and yang, black and white. So different, yet we still managed to rock each other's world. You were the best, is the best and will forever be the best. You taught me knot-tying, sudoku (even though I still have no idea how to solve one) and best of all, how to win at tai di. You were my comfort pillow, my aunt agony and my personal best friend. People may not know the bond that ran between us, they don't need to know. Cause the friendship was, is and will always be special to me. It's between you and me :) Even though I have found love, I want you to be happy for me. Happy that your buddy has found someone to share her life with. The way I have finally accepted what happened and I am truly happy you're in a better place now. I miss you a hell lot buddy, I really do.

I love you,

I really do.

Just promise me,

That you'll come home safely.

Forever,

Just a single word.

But a word people try not to use.

It encompasses,

happiness,

sadness,

regret,

anger,

trust,

faith,

love,

& commitment

10 days,

It could feel like 10 mins,

It could feel like forever.

Knowing you would be so far away,

Makes my heart feel heavy.

But I know you are there,

To do good works,

To share the word of God.

So I promise you,

That I would be here,

Waiting for you to return safely.

It's kinda like a test of love,

A test which only time will tell.

Happiness,

It's not something easily found,

It's not something I thought I would find.

But wow,

Little did I know that happiness was right beside me.

Beside me right from the very start.

Would there ever be a "we"?

Sometimes I daydream about a time,

A time of looking into your eyes,

A time of joy and happiness,

A time of holding hands,

A time of hugs and kisses,

A time of love,

A time of you and me.

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can never close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

It makes you think, what about that feeling of regret you had. If I told my friend how much I missed him before it was too late, would he still be around for me to confide in? It makes you think about that anger you harboured against someone who didn't deserve it. If I had calmed down and slowly talked it out with my friend, would our relationship be so strained or to the point of breaking apart? It makes you think about that time of sadness you tried to hide away from friends and family. If I had shared how depressed I felt, would I still be having flashbacks of what happened? It makes you think of that time you felt a spark of love for a special someone. If I had told the person how I felt, would our relationship have grown, or would it have soured because of the mistake I made. So many unanswered questions in my life, so many different answers to each and everyone of them. Questions that will haunt me forever, and answers that will keep me thinking - "What if?"

Picture taken by, Lim.