Do you remember when we used to sit on the stairs and blow bubbles into the air. You used to tease me for having asthma and that my bubbles were only half-sized. I miss holding your hand and blowing the bubbles together. We would go to Toys R Us and buy the biggest bottle on the shelf. We would then finish blowing the whole bottle in a week. I cannot believe how much I miss you. I keep wondering if things would be different if you were still around. Would you actually tell me you loved me? Would you hold my hand like you used to? Would we blow bubbles together? Would we still meet at un-earthly hours just to do our "stuff"? Would you still call me "Xiao Mi"?

I don't ever want to let you go.

Went to watch Disney on ice today. Kinda brought me back to the times when I was a kid, all those childish wishes and dreams. But I guess now, it all seems meaningless.

What's the point wishing when deep down, you know its never gonna happen. Like wishing for the grades you want - they never came true, or I would be in a JC now. Like wishing your bestest friend knew how much she means to you and that you would do anything not to hurt her. Like wishing you could keep all the people you love close to your heart and that you would neverever lose them. Like wishing you could have the courage to tell this friend you drifted away from, that he reallyreally means alot to you and that you would do anything to reverse time. Like wishing my friend never left me alone to handle all the hurt I've felt.

Dreaming is another thing altogether. Dreams are super unrealistic and very wrong. It manipulates the mind to think that everything is going to be alright and that life would be smooth-sailing. But welcome to the real world, where dreams are for losers. Unfortunately I'm the biggest loser who spends most of her time dreaming. I realised that however much I dreamed, these dreams would only be like bubbles - never real to the touch and they burst easily.

Hey boy,

Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?
How you make my heart beat faster everytime you smile?
How you appear in my daydreams and nightmares?
How you seem ever-so sweet and gentlemanly?
How you seem to make a rainbow form with just light wave?
How you confuse me with your mixed signals?
How you touch my shoulder and all hurt just disappears?
How you lead me out of darkness with just a word?
How your eyes twinkle when your happpy?
How much I think about you everyday?
How much I love you - even though its wrong?

Wells, I guess I forgot.

(c) ngsiahying

If I hung myself from the rafters,

Would you love me then?

If I bled to death in my tub,

Would you cry for me?

If I died for you,

Would you still love me?

If I cut my face,

Would you call me beautiful?

If I froze to death,

Would you miss me?

If I bled for you,

Would you still love me?

If I told you how much pain you’ve caused,

Would you say you’re sorry?

(c) ngsiahying