Everytime I look over my shoulder, I always had the hope of seeing you. Cause boy, do you know how much I miss you. Almost everything I do reminds me of you. Sometimes tear flow down my cheeks at night, tears that show how much you meant to me. Nothing can make up how much I miss you, no amount of tears can suffice. You mean the world to me but sadly, we can't share the wonders of the world anymore together. What you did was very stupid and hurtful.

Poly is so busy. All the hustle and bustle of school. People walking here and there on their way to different destinations. However, despite how busy school is, I always have the time to stop and think about you. Everytime people ask me about the ring on my finger, I think about you and I smile a sad smile 'cause I know that things will never be the same again. Even with new friends and a new part of life, I will never forget the old memories. There is always a hole in my heart that is in the shape of you.

Do you miss me? I miss you everytime it rains heavily. I felt miserable, lonely, bitter and wet. I keppt seeing your face in my mind telling me lots of things. But all I want to know is if you miss me. Cause i know i bloody hell do miss you. I'm missing you so much I'm doing things I never thought I would do. I'm missing you so much that it just simply hurts.

Sadly, it makes me kinda hate you for leaving like this. I've thought of so many ways for up to part. But never did I imagine that we would part like this. I feel like the worst friend on earth, because I could not tell that you were sad. I would trade many many things just to have you back. But I know that will never ever happen. Even if I can trade things to have you back, it would never be the same. Its just like a cup that had been broken. Even how you glue it back to fix it, it would never be the same. The cup would always have cracks.

Do you remember when we used to sit on the stairs and blow bubbles into the air. You used to tease me for having asthma and that my bubbles were only half-sized. I miss holding your hand and blowing the bubbles together. We would go to Toys R Us and buy the biggest bottle on the shelf. We would then finish blowing the whole bottle in a week. I cannot believe how much I miss you. I keep wondering if things would be different if you were still around. Would you actually tell me you loved me? Would you hold my hand like you used to? Would we blow bubbles together? Would we still meet at un-earthly hours just to do our "stuff"? Would you still call me "Xiao Mi"?

I don't ever want to let you go.

Went to watch Disney on ice today. Kinda brought me back to the times when I was a kid, all those childish wishes and dreams. But I guess now, it all seems meaningless.

What's the point wishing when deep down, you know its never gonna happen. Like wishing for the grades you want - they never came true, or I would be in a JC now. Like wishing your bestest friend knew how much she means to you and that you would do anything not to hurt her. Like wishing you could keep all the people you love close to your heart and that you would neverever lose them. Like wishing you could have the courage to tell this friend you drifted away from, that he reallyreally means alot to you and that you would do anything to reverse time. Like wishing my friend never left me alone to handle all the hurt I've felt.

Dreaming is another thing altogether. Dreams are super unrealistic and very wrong. It manipulates the mind to think that everything is going to be alright and that life would be smooth-sailing. But welcome to the real world, where dreams are for losers. Unfortunately I'm the biggest loser who spends most of her time dreaming. I realised that however much I dreamed, these dreams would only be like bubbles - never real to the touch and they burst easily.

Hey boy,

Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?
How you make my heart beat faster everytime you smile?
How you appear in my daydreams and nightmares?
How you seem ever-so sweet and gentlemanly?
How you seem to make a rainbow form with just light wave?
How you confuse me with your mixed signals?
How you touch my shoulder and all hurt just disappears?
How you lead me out of darkness with just a word?
How your eyes twinkle when your happpy?
How much I think about you everyday?
How much I love you - even though its wrong?

Wells, I guess I forgot.

(c) ngsiahying

If I hung myself from the rafters,

Would you love me then?

If I bled to death in my tub,

Would you cry for me?

If I died for you,

Would you still love me?

If I cut my face,

Would you call me beautiful?

If I froze to death,

Would you miss me?

If I bled for you,

Would you still love me?

If I told you how much pain you’ve caused,

Would you say you’re sorry?

(c) ngsiahying

A hug can say a thousand words

A hug can say a single word

A hug can mean a thousand things

A hug can mean completely nothing

A hug can be intentional

A hug can be accidental

A hug can tell everything

A hug can tell not a word

A hug is all of these and much more

A hug is all I yearn
(c) ngsiahying

If we were meant to be together, our lives would be miraculously intertwined. We could start out as total strangers, or even enemies and still end up as lovers. Tis is how the fate of lovers work. How ever strong the opposition is or how hard the obstacles are, we would go through thick and thin together, facing all the odds. You may not like the first impression you have of me, or I may hate you 'cause of the way you look but deep down inside, we know that we were meant for each other.

Valentine’s day means nothing to me

People run around looking for gifts

Candy, flowers, cards or stuffed animals

It’s nothing but sentimental bull shit

Artificial love and artificial feelings

What shows love like cards or candy?

Actual words, actual feelings and emotions

But that’s all lost

No one believes in it anymore

They believe in candy, cards, and flowers

And sentimental emotions and feelings

Heart shaped candy

Heart shaped chocolates

A secret admirer confessing their love

That’s all meaningless

For once in my life

I would like something more

I want something more out of that day

I want someone to prove that they love me

Tell me in their own words

Don’t send me chocolates, flowers, or cards

Because I won't pay attention

That stuff doesn’t catch my attention

It doesn’t show your true affection!

For Valentine’s day all I want is to be loved

Going down the road of life,

Imagining it without you,

Thought you'd be by my side,

Walking together just us two.

We found our way together,

Through the mazes we walked,

You wiped away my tears,

So we laughed and we talked.

Wishing I could freeze time,

As impossible as that task,

My heart is breaking but,

For you to stay I won't ask.

Our amazing road of life,

Is slowly splitting apart,

The memories I won't forget,

But I do need a new start.

As I try to keep this smile,

Tears are coming I won't lie,

But let us laugh one more time,

For this final goodbye.

Deviantart (c) ~ forleafclovgrl