I remember how you were so into punk rock, while I was into goth. We were like heaven and earth, the moon and the stars, yin and yang, black and white. So different, yet we still managed to rock each other's world. You were the best, is the best and will forever be the best. You taught me knot-tying, sudoku (even though I still have no idea how to solve one) and best of all, how to win at tai di. You were my comfort pillow, my aunt agony and my personal best friend. People may not know the bond that ran between us, they don't need to know. Cause the friendship was, is and will always be special to me. It's between you and me :) Even though I have found love, I want you to be happy for me. Happy that your buddy has found someone to share her life with. The way I have finally accepted what happened and I am truly happy you're in a better place now. I miss you a hell lot buddy, I really do.

I love you,

I really do.

Just promise me,

That you'll come home safely.

Forever,

Just a single word.

But a word people try not to use.

It encompasses,

happiness,

sadness,

regret,

anger,

trust,

faith,

love,

& commitment

10 days,

It could feel like 10 mins,

It could feel like forever.

Knowing you would be so far away,

Makes my heart feel heavy.

But I know you are there,

To do good works,

To share the word of God.

So I promise you,

That I would be here,

Waiting for you to return safely.

It's kinda like a test of love,

A test which only time will tell.

Happiness,

It's not something easily found,

It's not something I thought I would find.

But wow,

Little did I know that happiness was right beside me.

Beside me right from the very start.

Would there ever be a "we"?

Sometimes I daydream about a time,

A time of looking into your eyes,

A time of joy and happiness,

A time of holding hands,

A time of hugs and kisses,

A time of love,

A time of you and me.

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can never close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

It makes you think, what about that feeling of regret you had. If I told my friend how much I missed him before it was too late, would he still be around for me to confide in? It makes you think about that anger you harboured against someone who didn't deserve it. If I had calmed down and slowly talked it out with my friend, would our relationship be so strained or to the point of breaking apart? It makes you think about that time of sadness you tried to hide away from friends and family. If I had shared how depressed I felt, would I still be having flashbacks of what happened? It makes you think of that time you felt a spark of love for a special someone. If I had told the person how I felt, would our relationship have grown, or would it have soured because of the mistake I made. So many unanswered questions in my life, so many different answers to each and everyone of them. Questions that will haunt me forever, and answers that will keep me thinking - "What if?"

Picture taken by, Lim.

I'm afraid I can't make it.
Will you hold my hand and walk with me?
Or will you neglct me when you see the obstacles upahead.
Will you tell me it's gonna be okay?
Or will you crush my withering confidence.
Will you hold me close when I'm falling?
Or will you laugh when I fall.
Will you support my decisions?
Or will you tell me I'm wrong.
Will you be there for me?
Or do I have to go through this myself.

FEAR

The fear of flying insects,

The fear of the absence of light

The fear of happy people,

The fear of emotions.

The fear of hidden smiles,

The fear of masked feelings.

The fear of losing something,

The fear of regret.

The fear of everything new,

The fear of change.

The fear of knowing,

The fear of not knowing.

The fear of my own thoughts,

The fear of ohers thoughts.

The fear of things to come,

The fear of the past.

The fear of falling,

The fear of flying.

The fear of pride,

The fear of shame.

The fear of love,

The fear of hate.

(c) ngsiahying