Forever,

Just a single word.

But a word people try not to use.

It encompasses,

happiness,

sadness,

regret,

anger,

trust,

faith,

love,

& commitment

10 days,

It could feel like 10 mins,

It could feel like forever.

Knowing you would be so far away,

Makes my heart feel heavy.

But I know you are there,

To do good works,

To share the word of God.

So I promise you,

That I would be here,

Waiting for you to return safely.

It's kinda like a test of love,

A test which only time will tell.

Happiness,

It's not something easily found,

It's not something I thought I would find.

But wow,

Little did I know that happiness was right beside me.

Beside me right from the very start.

Would there ever be a "we"?

Sometimes I daydream about a time,

A time of looking into your eyes,

A time of joy and happiness,

A time of holding hands,

A time of hugs and kisses,

A time of love,

A time of you and me.

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can never close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

It makes you think, what about that feeling of regret you had. If I told my friend how much I missed him before it was too late, would he still be around for me to confide in? It makes you think about that anger you harboured against someone who didn't deserve it. If I had calmed down and slowly talked it out with my friend, would our relationship be so strained or to the point of breaking apart? It makes you think about that time of sadness you tried to hide away from friends and family. If I had shared how depressed I felt, would I still be having flashbacks of what happened? It makes you think of that time you felt a spark of love for a special someone. If I had told the person how I felt, would our relationship have grown, or would it have soured because of the mistake I made. So many unanswered questions in my life, so many different answers to each and everyone of them. Questions that will haunt me forever, and answers that will keep me thinking - "What if?"

Picture taken by, Lim.

I'm afraid I can't make it.
Will you hold my hand and walk with me?
Or will you neglct me when you see the obstacles upahead.
Will you tell me it's gonna be okay?
Or will you crush my withering confidence.
Will you hold me close when I'm falling?
Or will you laugh when I fall.
Will you support my decisions?
Or will you tell me I'm wrong.
Will you be there for me?
Or do I have to go through this myself.

FEAR

The fear of flying insects,

The fear of the absence of light

The fear of happy people,

The fear of emotions.

The fear of hidden smiles,

The fear of masked feelings.

The fear of losing something,

The fear of regret.

The fear of everything new,

The fear of change.

The fear of knowing,

The fear of not knowing.

The fear of my own thoughts,

The fear of ohers thoughts.

The fear of things to come,

The fear of the past.

The fear of falling,

The fear of flying.

The fear of pride,

The fear of shame.

The fear of love,

The fear of hate.

(c) ngsiahying

Written on: 3 November 2009

Seeing your classmates outrightly shun you, purposely changing seats to avoid sitting with you - PRICELESS

I may not look like I care about the way people look at me,but it really hurts. You don't know me, but you judge me. I feel like a caged animal put in the spotlightfor people to criticise and humiliate. I'm human too, I have feelings. The feeling of sitting alone in class is too painful to describe. Its like I don't have friends that I can call my own. All I want to know is what have I done to deserve this. Am I too anti-social, not pretty enough, or just too weird for some people. It hurts so bad, but I don't think you guys even bother to care about my feelings. Because I'm only the anti-social girl, sitting alone at the back of the class. Hope you're happy, idiots.

I believe in faries, pixies, stardust and all this magical. I believe that when you put your tooth under the pillow, the toothfairy will exchange it for a golden coin. I believe that in the middle of every flower, is a fairy baby waking up every morning. I believe in cute, old garden gnomes. I believe in fairy rings. I believe in the magic of stardust, that it can make all wishes come true.

But most importantly, I believe in the unconditional love that God has showed me, and the love between his people.